What is your plan for finding love? Yes, a plan. What dating steps have you laid out to guide thee on thy lofty quest to seek the love of your life? What relationship route have you chosen to find a fabulous person to spend your life with? You plan your vacations, work day, and getting your car washed. You invest 4 years of your life preparing for a career.
Do you really believe that the 40 minutes you spend preparing for a date will somehow miraculously deliver you to the partner of your dreams?
Every important undertaking requires a plan. Love is no different. You, of course, know this intuitively, yet you wander aimlessly from date to date on your way to … where? Love? Your soul mate? I wonder if you are aware that finding “love” and discovering “The One” are two entirely different pursuits. Does your dating and relationship strategy account for the differences?
There is but one vehicle for finding a deep love partner — a solid, actionable dating and relationship plan.
You need a plan…
In This Article
This article is not the typical “3 Tips” or “5 Reasons” article. I generally despise Tips and Reasons articles. I feel their populist tendencies belie the critically important nature of the serious pursuit of love. I find them fluffy, anemic window dressing whose primary purpose is the momentary acquisition of your attention-deficient eyeballs in lieu of providing genuine, substantial assistance.
That’s not going to happen in this article.
Grab a fresh cup of coffee and settle in. In less than 2,600 words I am going to demolish 50 years of dating and relationship lore, obsolete literally thousands of dating and relationship books, construct a completely new relationship paradigm, and give you a process you can use to capture that amazingly different relationship.
- Begins with an brief outline of the typical dating and relationship pattern that you likely follow today
- Describes the fatal flaws in that ordinary pattern and why it fails to deliver success
- Establishes an entirely different type of relationship based existing patterns of deep love
- Defines a set of 6 Steps to reach the new deep love relationship
It’s time to rock your world and change your life!
The problem is that most singles don’t employ a dating or relationship strategy. Rather, they follow a de facto plan hoping that it will carry them to their goal. I call it de facto because it is an inherited plan, absorbed via osmosis from the media, our parents, and society in general. It doesn’t qualify as a real plan because it lacks definition: there is no precise goal, no examples to follow, no steps to define the path, and no measurement of success.
Today’s Defacto Dating and Relationship Plan
1. Read a few “3 Tips” articles and maybe even a book on traditional dating.
2. Join an online dating site.
3. Write a superficial online dating profile. “I like wine, chocolate, and the Sunday morning paper (and you) in bed.”
4. As a result of a superficial profile, go on an endless string of superficial dates until you meet someone you like.
5. Continue to date and see if love blooms. Overlook any differences.
6. Fall into matching/chemistry/attraction love. Accept, Appreciate, and Adapt to the differences (the 3As).
7. Get engaged, diamond ring presented on bended knee.
8. Have a spectacular wedding. Aunt Mable gets drunk and dances on the table…again. Tequila!
9. Settle into a house on the beach and live happily ever after.
Does this resemble your plan? If it does, it’s missing the last step:
10. Work on your relationship and get divorced.
You find out that love, matching, attraction, and chemistry are not enough. Odds are good that happily-ever-after will eventually become divorced-with-bitter-baggage. Or is that bitterly-divorced-with-baggage? Following the defacto plan caused you to become ensnared in the traditional relationship fatal flaw: We marry because of our similarities, but divorce because of the differences we accepted, appreciated, and adapted to during the courtship [link].
And you’ll do it all over again unless you get a real plan.
You need a real plan
One of the biggest obstacles people face in finding a mate is that they tend to think of dating and relationships as two separate items. They are not. Dating and relationships is one single, inseparable, continuous progression. Any defect in the dating portion of the progression will cause the subsequent relationship to be damaged.
As an example, in the traditional dating plan, focusing largely on superficial elements (“I love movies too!”) leads the dater to experience many connectionless first dates, and initiates a long process that eventually produces a relationship where the partners’ cores are not aligned. The dating step fails to deliver good dates, as well begets a friction-filled relationship that requires work.
If you bungle a step in making the batter, you’ll ruin the cookies
The early phases of the progression have a profound impact on the subsequent phases; therefore, an effective plan’s steps must function individually to achieve the immediate goal and collectively to deliver the final goal. A successful plan must address each individual element (profile, communication, dating, courtship, etc.) within the context of the goal (committed relationship).
All you know is that you’re dating, chemistry and love are necessary, and that relationships require work.ANYBODY can end up with a relationship that has a mix of love and work. That’s easy. “Love and work” is not a target. “Love and work” is what happens when you miss the target!
Clearly, the defacto plan we follow today doesn’t meet the criteria of a real, effective plan. Each of the defacto’s individual steps are flawed, and collectively they lead to a less-than-desirable relationship outcome at least 50% of the time.
If we are truly intent on finding The One, we must devise an entirely new plan.
The new plan must designed to:
- Deliver the type of relationship that singles really want
- Be simple to understand and execute
- Deliver more than just “love and work”
Starting from scratch: How to create a viable plan to find “The One”
We have decided that we need a new plan. Since our plan will be the first new plan in 50 years, we are going to do it the right way!
Starting from scratch, we will:
- Define a new relationship paradigm that leads to relationships of deep love, ease, and harmony (i.e. a no-work relationship). This new relationship will be our plan’s target/goal.
- Identify a pattern, or set of patterns, that provide a working example of the deep love relationship target. The patterns we choose must promise a high probability of success. There is no benefit in replacing the current “relationships are work” pattern with an equally broken relationship pattern.
- Produce a viable, tangible path to attain the new deep love relationship. This is plan we will execute to hit the new target/goal.
Defining The Goal
A plan begins with identifying a goal. Without a declared goal, it’s impossible to know if you’re on course or whether you’ve reached the destination. Let’s verify our goal to ensure that it is precise and clear.
What is the relationship goal we wish to achieve?
Ok, so we’re looking for love. Great. What type of love do you want?
- This is a question that no one ever asks. Do you want good love? Do you want superficial love? Do you want “opposites attract” love? Do you want complimentary we-balance-each-other love? Do you want a “love and work” relationship? Or do you want a deep love–a love that breathes amazing breath into your heart and life?
I’m going to assume that you want a deep love relationship.
So our goal, fully defined, is a deep love relationship.
Identifying A Pattern
Now that we have a defined goal, what existing patterns are available to describe that goal? Because we are clueless about how to find deep love or what it looks like, we must identify a pattern that leads to deep love. We need an example to follow.
How about Identical Twins? Identical Twins are said to share an incredible connection and deep love. Why? Because they are the same. They share the same DNA and upbringing. Twins’ deep commonality produces an incredibly deep bond.
Interestingly, the Identical Twin bond is a natural bond, literally. It’s a pattern in nature that’s been working to create amazing connections for 50,000 years. 50,000 years! That’s a tried and true pattern! An added benefit of emulating the Identical Twin pattern is that it should create natural pairings (as opposed to the mostly artificial matching created by match.com’s or okCupid’s mathematical algorithms, or eHarmony’s clinical compatibility model).
Biomimicry is the science of following a pattern of nature to solve human problems. In this case, biomimicry indicates that the Identical Twin pattern should produce two people who will naturally love each other very deeply.
Is there a spiritual or metaphysical description of a deep love relationship?
Yes, indeed, there is: Twin Souls.
Reincarnationists describe a circumstance where a single soul is split in half at creation and placed into two separate people to live and learn through multiple lifetimes. The moment two people with mirrored souls meet, they discover that they are essentially one heart and soul. It is written that their singular connection is powerful, grounded, peaceful, and profound — and yields the deepest love possible. In the common vernacular, we’d call these people soul mates.
The Twin Soul pattern says that having the mirrored souls leads to the deepest of love.
Is there empirical evidence that extreme sameness creates deep bonds?
First, I think we can confidently say that no one ever divorced over irreconcilable similarities. Highly similar couples do not appear to be contributing to the 50% divorce rate.
Additionally, in my personal three year experiment with mirror dating, I found my experiences with mirror connections and relationship closely follow both the Identical Twin and Twin Soul patterns.
Twins. Mirroring. Extreme similarity. These are the patterns that produce deep love connections. The fact that three discreetly different disciplines (nature, metaphysical, and empirical) all point to the same conclusion tends to validate the pattern:
- Looking for a twin or mirror (pattern) leads to deep love relationships (target/goal).
Hitting The Target
We have completed two of the three tasks in creating our new deep love plan: We defined the target goal and identified a pattern that can be emulated to produce that target goal.
Our final task is to create a path to hit the target.
Although there are probably many methods one might use to hit a target, I believe the only plausible way to consistently and accurately hit our new relationship target is by using a set of steps.
Like making cookie batter, each step must provide specific instructions on what to do and a measurement to ensure that the step is properly completed.
The 6 Steps to Finding Deep Love
Step 1: Mirror Profile
The greatest concentration of people looking for love is in online, so that’s the best place to look for deep love. On the other hand, online dating is a population-dense environment. In order to find your deep love mate, you must narrow down the massive online pool into your own personal mirror pool.
No problem, you’ll use an online profile to do that job.
According to the target, you’re looking for your twin or mirror—the same DNA, the same heart and soul, extreme similarities; correspondingly, your profile should describe your deep self: hopes, dreams, aspirations, the way you see the world, feelings, perspectives.
The people who don’t see themselves in your mirror profile will run away. “That is definitely not me!” Those who do mirror your profile will have an emphatic response, “Wow! Your profile describes me so well!” Reading your Mirror Profile causes the online population to self-sort.
Step 2: Filter
In Step 2 you filter any communications with other online daters looking specifically for the emphatic response to your Mirror Profile. The emphatic response is key to the Date Gate. You should go on a date only after you receive a message that says, “Wow! Your profile really touched me.”.
Step 3: Connection
Having filtered using your mirror profile and listened for the emphatic response, there’s a good possibility that your date will be a mirror for you.
As the twin soul pattern says that there should be an immediate recognition of the oneness of the soul connection, the first date’s only purpose is to see if a deep connection is revealed. In the mirror realm, you never build a connection; you date only to see if a connection already exists. The connection should be powerful, grounded, peaceful, and profound.
If a deep soul connection is not revealed, there is never a second date.
Step 4: Selection
When you find that amazing connection in Step 3, you will feel like you’ve won the Love Lottery. The mirror connection is like being inside joy. Your mirror relationship will probably make you the happiest you’ve ever been in your life…but being happy is not enough.
Identical DNA and precisely mirrored souls are very high bars. If you are to achieve the results promised by emulating those patterns, you must mimic the patterns as closely as possible. There is only one way to determine how close you are to the bar: Measure!
One of the benefits of having a target is being able to measure against it. In Step 4: Selection, you ensure that you are selecting the correct partner by measuring how well you and your partner are mirrored. Measuring helps you understand whether you’re dead on-target or a little off. Remember, off target=relationships are work.
The act of measuring ensures that you are following the pattern, achieving the desired result, and consciously selecting rather than just falling mindlessly forward into commitment.
I will concede that measurement is not very romantic. Neither is divorce, my friends!
Step 5: Let Go
Today’s process for finding love (if you can call it that) takes too long. Dating’s superficial starting point means it takes a long time to determine if partners share compatible cores. In fact, the path is so long that people often select a partner based upon the invested time rather than the strength of their pairing.
Mirroring changes that elongated progression. Following the Steps, you and your date arrive at the first date with highly similar hearts and souls. In an environment where all the elements are highly alike, the differences stick out like a sore thumb; it is easy for you to quickly see and perceive the mismatches — weeks instead of years. If you identify substantial differences, or if a relationship becomes work, Step 5 directs you to let go.
Step 5: Let Go has several significant advantages:
- Reduces time investment
- Prevents you from committing to the wrong person
- Permits the mirror pool to be sorted exponentially faster
Step 6: Commitment
Step 6 says to commit to finding an incredible relationship. You must not settle! Your search for deep love is a mission. With a proper plan, you will succeed!
The traditional path you currently use is woefully ineffective for finding lasting, deep love. By adopting a new paradigm built on Mirroring, you have the chance to discover the relationship that you’ve been searching for — a relationship that will make you feel more alive and loved than you’ve ever thought possible.
- If you employ the typical traditional path for finding love, chances are good that you will end up right back where you started: alone and looking for love.
- The mirror pattern leads to a relationship of deep connection and love, which is supported by natural, metaphysical, and empirical evidence, including a 50,000 year old biomimicry solution.
- The Mirror target and 6 steps are simple — simple enough to be described in a single 2,600 word document instead of a volume of books.
- The goal is to use the 6 Steps to find your mirror or twin.
Come Join Us
We built MagicalMatches.com to optimize and Mirror Effect and the 6 Steps. Each of the 6 Steps is built directly into the site to help you stay on course. As an example, after the signup processes you’ll have already completed Step 1: Mirror Profile — you’ll have a Mirror Profile that you can use on Magical Matches or any dating website you’re on. And that’s just the start of what we do!
Our mission is to help you find a relationship that feels magical
After divorcing from a 22 year traditional relationship of compromise, friction, and work, Troy discovered the Mirror Effect on a first date. The discovery had such a profound impact that it completely changed his views on dating and relationships.
Using the Mirror Effect, when Troy found Judy, their connection was so strong that they fell in love on their first date and were engaged in two months. Together now for five years, they share a deep love relationship of ease and harmony without the work.
Together with Team MM, Troy and Judy work to put people on a path to deep love that doesn’t lead to a 50% divorce rate. Their book, The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates (6 Steps To Finding Your Magical Match Using Online Dating) rebuilds dating and relationships from the ground up to provide a dating and relationship progression that results in the deep, harmonious, frictionless relationships that people are looking for today. Their online dating and relationship website, Magical Matches, is designed to fully integrate the Mirror Effect and the 6 Steps.
Troy’s email box is always open! He enthusiastically encourages you to reach out with your questions or comments. firstname.lastname@example.org.