Here we go again. Another one of those inane articles (this time from Healthaim.com) created from hamburger that was originally frozen 50 years ago and thawed out to create a 21st century dating advice meatloaf.
Here’s where the article’s dating recipe has gone completely wrong, and what you should be doing instead to find the type of love you really want.
1) Online dating algorithms know you better than your family or friends.
Online dating algorithms do not know you better than your friends or family. You are a human: You have a heart, soul, mind, feelings, and dreams! No machine can truly understand you, let alone more than other humans. You are more than just a machine matched by algorithms.
2) Men like red, women are attracted to blue.
Colors won’t matter at all if you’re finding the deep, profound connection that you should have been filtering for in Step 1: Mirror Profile and Step 2:Filter of the Dating for True Love System. A first date should not be a game to attract, but a venue to discover if you already share a deep, pre-existing, natural built-in connection with your date! What your date is wearing won’t make any difference when you find deep connection.
3) You have a specific amount of time to make that first impression. Don’t mess it up.
Holy cow! They’re killlllinnnng me! That’s just crazy stuff. What are you exactly hoping to impress them into? A second date?
Crazy. Old. Passe. Stupid!
How about this instead? Come prepared to be open and transparent.
If you want to find a deep connection, then you need to let your date see your heart and soul — the deep you. That’s how two people discover if they are naturally meant for each other.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. – Rumi
If a 13th century poet-mystic can get it, surely we can do a little better! Go Rumi!
Let’s spend the date discovering if the daters share a heart-deep built-in connection.
4) What’s important for a first date: Personality wins.
More stupidity! How about walking into the restaurant as strangers, finding out that you share the same heart and soul, time standing still as you discover deep connection, the restaurant closing around you, and leaving as a deeply bonded couple?
Doesn’t that sound like a real win?
5) Make sure you flatter your date.
OMG! Is this dating for pre-teens? See #3.
6) Flirting is effective in positively affecting the outcome of the date.
See #3 and #5.
7) Wear the right perfume.
See #3 and #5.
8) Make sure you pay attention to the body language. Leaning in means your date is interested.
Well, yeah. That’s basic human nature. Let’s talk more than just the basics, eh?
The first time I experienced the mirror connection, we just naturally reached out to hold a hand with each other over the table ad our built-in connection was revealing itself. It wasn’t long before we were holding both hands across the table. Then she leaned over the table to give me a tender kiss.
Flirting and flattering can never achieve the the type of connection that I’m talking about here. In fact, flirting and flattering are what you do when you don’t share that deep Loveship connection.
Forget the typical dating advice. Instead, use your dating to search for genuine, meaningful, deep alignment and heart-based connection.
9) The venue is important.
Finally, a useful bit of advice! The venue is important. If you’re going to attempt to discover the connection that already exists, and you’re going to be open and transparent to allow that to happen, then you need a venue that facilitates a deeper exchange. How about a nice quiet restaurant?
10) Most breakups occurs online, not in person.
Breaking-up online. Hmmm… Call me old fashioned, but I just don’t think that’s the right way to go. There are one or two customs from the 50s that I feel still have value: count face-to-face breakups among them.
The vast majority of points in their list are relics of the 50s way of thinking about dating and the relationships that follow. In the 50s, a woman worked to captured the doctor or lawyer because she needed a marriage of security, not love. These tips are part of the “attract and react” process left over from those days: Do what it takes to attract, react in the right way so as to create tension/attraction/superficial bonding/an opening for a second date/whatever.
There is absolutely no need to play the “dating capture game” when you’re looking for the right person in the right way.
Put the meatloaf down and back away…
The very first thing you should do when considering your dating plan is to jettison the typical dating advice. That dating meatloaf has been leading to unhappiness and divorce for 50 years, and it will continue to do so as long as people continue to eat it.
Instead, I suggest using the Mirror Effect and the 6 Steps (which are at the core of the Dating for True Love System). The DTLS certainly simplified their dating list, didn’t it? You’ll be surprised to learn that it can do much more. With the DTLS, you’ll find that many of the dating and relationship truths you take for granted are really nothing more than myths blocking the path to an amazing experience!
More About Finding a Loveship
After divorcing from a 22 year traditional relationship of compromise, friction, and work, Troy discovered the Mirror Effect on a first date. The discovery had such a profound impact that it completely changed his views on dating and relationships.
Using the Mirror Effect, when Troy found Judy, their connection was so strong that they fell in love on their first date and were engaged in two months. Together now for five years, they share a deep love relationship of ease and harmony without the work.
Together with Team Bloved, Troy and Judy work to put singles on a path to finding a unique type of connection and love that doesn’t lead to a 50% divorce rate. The Dating for True Love System rebuilds dating and relationships from the ground up to lead daters to finding those who are naturally meant for them — the deep, harmonious, easy love that singles are looking for today.
Troy’s email box is always open! He enthusiastically encourages you to reach out with your questions or comments. firstname.lastname@example.org.