I ran into an article that had this dating advice:
Do you reveal everything about your life to your partner, are you an open book? I would suggest that you don’t do that. You maybe asking why. Well, here is why: When you have a young relationship that has not yet started to bloom, it is impossible to know how the other person will react when you reveal personal things about yourself – you wouldn’t want to tell him because he might run away. Take it one step at a time.
Is this good advice? It certainly is the run-off-the-mill dating advice: Don’t reveal too much, play it safe, or you’ll scare them away. And when you think of typical dating, it makes sense. Today’s dating aims to build a connection — a bridge — between daters … and it’s difficult to put weight on a bridge that isn’t yet complete.
But it’s also a statistical fact that the typical dating path leads to unhappy relationships and a divorce every 30 seconds. Slowly revealing who you are might get you a relationship, but what you’re not revealing might later cost you the relationship you’re maneuvering so hard to get now. At the end of the day, if you were across the table from someone who was truly meant for you, they would naturally comprehend pretty much whatever you had to share. Doesn’t the fact that you feel like you can’t reveal something about yourself speak volumes about the suitability of your date as a deep match for you?
Let’s Change the Purpose of a First Date
Rather than try to create relationships by building bridges, what if we change the playing field such that a date isn’t about building a connection, but discovering if a connection already exists? What would happen if the first date’s only purpose were to determine if the two daters shared a deep, natural built-in connection?
What we should be doing on a first date is looking for natural affinity and deep, grounded peaceful connection. And when you find that connection, it will seem like you’ve always known each other, so it becomes easy and natural to share.
What’s Possible on a First Date?
The discovery of the mirror connection itself came entirely from sharing during one of my first dates. A bit of deep sharing began to reveal our deep connection. That connection created an opening to share more. The sharing created trust. Trust created the ability to share even more. The entire evening was one big reinforcing cycle of share-trust-share. Not only did we have the opportunity to discover the unbelievable depth of our connection, but also it’s astounding breadth.
When we were finished with the date some 5 or 6 hours later, I knew and deeply understood more about her than I did my former wife of 22 years.
And it all started with a bit of honest, open sharing.
The Keys to Discovering Connection
Openness and transparency are the keys to discovering if a connection exists. Remember, in order to find soul and heart connections, you must be able to see someone’s soul and heart, and they have to be able to see your heart and soul.
Most days I wish I had an incantation that would wipe all of these dating and relationship myths from the minds of daters. I need Hermione Granger and her wand to obliviate the typical dating and relationship lore from your head!
Clear of those archaic preconceptions, we could get down to the serious business of finding you an amazing, uber-incredible Loveship that would fill your life more than you have ever dared dream!
Using the Mirror Effect, when Troy found Judy, their connection was so strong that they fell in love on their first date and were engaged in two months. Together now for five years, they share a deep love relationship of ease and harmony without the work.
Troy’s email box is always open! He enthusiastically encourages you to reach out with your questions or comments. firstname.lastname@example.org.